When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
