A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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