What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
