i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
