She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
