So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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