I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
