saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
