Are we in a gay sports bar?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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