If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
