..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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