we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
