Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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