Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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