I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I've blown a few things in my day
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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