just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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