New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
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