We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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