Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
