I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my being single is dangerous.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
