well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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