Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize