Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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