After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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