The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
