I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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