just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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