she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
