just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize