Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
accomplished twins. life is a go
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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