I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
