It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
