Pants 0. Shit 1.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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