i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize