Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
