We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
