i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Let's paint friendship bongs
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
