my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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