He is like the real live version of the state fair..
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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