this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
