East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
