you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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