his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
