ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize