Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she looked like the before picture.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
