Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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