Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You took a bar mat shot.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
