Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You were trust falling into bushes
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
