Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
