I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
