I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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