well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
