it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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