i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
