If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we made out on top of his cat.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
