So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
