quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
